Here and Now

This time next week, my husband will have a new immune system.

Today, we feel well and enjoy a lazy Sunday with Week 1 football playing continuously. I don’t know what next week holds.

But this is OK. This is the beginning of the end of our fight with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. We are ready.

There are several reasons why I’m feeling so confident and at ease with this situation. The most significant of these, though, is the fact that my mode of thinking has shifted from “if” to “when.” There is no longer a lingering questions of whether we can beat this; now, there is only when we beat it. It’s been a hard concept to grasp because it’s not something we can will to happen. It’s not something anyone else can guarantee us. But, I have faith in the promises my heart has heard. I have faith in these doctors and nurses. I have faith in our donor. I have faith in Mitchell.

Even beyond my faith, there are very logical positives that perpetuate my confidence: 1.) His bone marrow has miniscule (basically 0%) traces of the disease, allowing his body less work to do to get better 2.) He’s had three weeks of being “healthy.” We’re going into this in much better shape than we’ve started out in any other phase 3.) We are mentally ready. Everything has been explained and we know what to expect. This is huge. 4.) The doctors are confident. They do this ALL the TIME. It’s their normal.

Next week will come, but here and now, we are well. We are braced for battle.

To quote the beautiful Robin Roberts, fellow BMT recipient:            Onward.

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