Overexposed

“Can I tell you a weird story? This morning, I was half awake and I was talking to God. I was crying and I was begging him. I said, ‘Do you remember the man that was blind with the mud? Remember the man that could not walk? Remember the woman…? Remember? Remember?’ And I listed them all, you know. I was asking Him about him [Mitchell] and then I woke up and I was confused. I wondered if He wanted me to pray for him…or had I already prayed for him in my dream? You know? I knew I needed my coffee!” – Yolanda the Chilean

In my prayers this year, I’d been asking for doors to be opened to deeper relationships. Mitch and I wanted to hear people’s stories and to know their hearts.

I especially wanted to be closer to my family; we’ve never been good communicators. It just seems like we spend a lot of time dancing around things rather than actually tackling them. Pretending is not as good as being honest. We’re working on it.

Another facet of this prayer was to be better friends. Especially on my part, I feel like I’ve lost touch with some people who are important to me. That, or I’ve never really let them in past the surface in the first place. I wanted this to change. Likewise, we wanted to build our bond with our church folk. God’s people are the most accessible vehicle through which He performs miracles. Miracles of love, comfort, teaching, friendship. These little miracles are a major reason I’m so in love with theBRiDGE at FBC. I realize that the way I’ve typed it isn’t official, but I like it. Let me explain: a bridge is a structure that not only connects you from Point A to Point B, but also carries you over previously impassable areas, physical obstacles. I like to think of our little group this way, so I write the word with a little “i” because “I” am only a part. “i” am part of something bigger – something stronger – something better.

I am so glad we had the gift of theBRiDGE before our diagnosis.

In order to draw closer and build relationships, people have to know who you are. I want others to see who I am, to see who we are as a couple. I want you to see that I’m genuine. I am who I say I am. I think it would be acceptable to say that everyone wants to be seen, to be known. You want every colorful facet of your personality to be revealed and appreciated for what it is. The trouble is, to be this close means that people see everything. Even the bad, the weak. They see when you mess up.

What I am learning, is a grand lesson in humility. We have been exposed for who we are. Overexposed. Literally, we stay in a hospital room where people can come and go as they please to ogle our situation. Our insides have been poured out as all we are is tested. We’ve had to completely rely on others for our every need – washing laundry to providing food to prescribing medicine. I mean, my in-laws have seen my underwear! We have nothing left to hide.

In doing so, though, it has forced a closeness upon us that could not have happened otherwise. We realize how great of relationships we actually have. They have blossomed with well-wishes and gifts and hugs and prayers that have  literally carried us through the last 27 days. God using his vehicles.

On the other hand, we’ve also been able to hear the stories of new friends, like Yolanda. She’s a tech that we’ve come to love here at UAMS. She is just one. There are several people here that we’ve been able to share our story with and that have shared their stories with us. Do you have any idea how completely, ridiculously crazy-cool it is to talk to your doctors about a prayer map and then them tell you to put a star up for each of them? Blows my mind. We are surrounded.

In an odd way, God has answered my prayers through our hospital stay. He has revealed to me the love that others have for us,  and the relationships we already have and didn’t even realize how special they were. After having fought with us and having seen us in our most helpless state, I hope we are closer. I hope I don’t forget how you treated us when we were most exposed, most vulnerable. You held us up. You covered us with your love, with His love.

We are eternally grateful.

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One thought on “Overexposed

  1. Once again Sam–you knock it out of the park! You and I are very much alike, but I think you do it better. Praying for you and loving you both.

    Like

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